


Stream of (un)consciousness

by ghostofthejungle



Category: Justice League (2017)
Genre: Alcohol, Established Relationship, Introspection, M/M, Nonsense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:27:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26180380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostofthejungle/pseuds/ghostofthejungle
Summary: "Maybe all what happened was meant to lead me to you and if I hadn't experienced that…then I would have been another kind of person, maybe a better one, but not the right one for you."or, Barry gets drunk and Victor needs to deal with it. Don't get fooled by the sweet incipit, it's actually quite rambling.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Victor Stone
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Stream of (un)consciousness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kelian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelian/gifts).



There were so many aspects of Barry Allen he still wasn't able to fully understand; why was he always so hopeful and in a good mood? How exactly did he gain his powers? But mostly, how did he manage to get drunk after drinking only a half can of the less alcoholic beer in the entire universe?  
  
Luckily they were at home and the speedster wasn't feeling bad at all; he simply sat down on one of the chairs near the table, putting his head to rest on it, still holding the can between his hands. At least, Victor was -thankfully- fast enough to rip it off before he could think about drinking more. Not that he was exactly capable of rationally thinking about anything, as his next sentence confirmed.  
"You know what I was thinking about? _That_. That thing." Victor's human eye followed the direction pointed by Barry's finger, who was apparently talking about the washing machine that broke a couple of days before.  
"That thing has been here since fifteen years and it broke right after you moved to my place. So you broke it".  
The other sighed. He couldn't say he wasn't used to Barry's rambling babbling even when he was sober, but he was pretty sure it could have only gotten worse right now.  
"Would you be willing to considerate the fact that maybe it broke because it was _this_ old?"  
"No."  
"Of course, why did I even ask. And how did I broke it exactly?"  
"You hacked it."

Victor's hearty laugh was perfectly opposite to Barry's dead serious face. The speedster knew he was right, he could have sworn he was.  
"Why for fuck's sake should I hack a washing machine?"

Barry shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe you didn't want to stand up and you tried to do the laundry from remote or-" he stopped talking and looked at Victor like he had suddenly seen some kind of divinity, then kept on speaking with a different, happier tone of voice.  
"Do you remember that time when you sabotaged the other cars during that Kart match ad I won a giant cotton candy?  
Of course he remembered that; it was about four months ago, yet Victor wanted to dig a very, very deep hole and hide from the world, _again_. However, Barry's radiant expression was enough to make him quite…glad he did it.

"I could never forget that, but what does it have to do with the washing machine?"  
"That really was the perfect moment. In that moment, I realized I was falling in love with you. You made something for me, something special and…and I didn't even ask you that. It was so precious."  
  
The answer didn't really have something to do with the question, but of course Victor was happy he actually said that. Despite being very extroverted and loquacious, Barry wasn't really able to express his feelings by mouth, probably due to all the very bad things he had to deal with through his entire life.

However, his feelings towards Victor were clearly expressed through the bright smiles he always gave him; in particular, the cyborg noticed how Barry had quite a…different smile when they were together. It was less childish and more mature, more like a shy, warm smile - and if even his metal body was able to detect it, it must have been truly incandescent -. That smile naively whispered that he felt confortable around Vic, that he knew he was safe and could let the guard down when he was with him.  
But when it came to express those feelings in words, Barry just went in a sort of stand-by mode. As if he was afraid of saying some kind of things out loud, because saying them means making them real and the more real they are, the more painful it is to lose and let them go. And Victor knew how many things and how many people Barry lost throughout his life and he had no intention of straining him or just making him feel unconfortable.  
  
"And _those other things_ -" The romantic break was swiftly interrupted by another invective, that this time seemed to turn to the radiators. "I think they're broken. This house is colder than the northern pole. We should call someone to have it checked."  
"About time too!"  
"Who do you even care? You can't perceive the temperatures."  
Under other circumstances Victor would have probably been slightly offended, but he couldn't blame Barry at all - he actually wasn't wrong, anyway. _In wine there is truth_ , in beer too.

"But I can hear you complaining about how cold it is, and it's even worse. Why don't you just open the closet and wear something thicker, instead of telling me you're cold 15 times a day?"  
The query was clearly a rhetorical one, but for Barry it suddenly was the most important question of the world and it absolutely needed to be answered. He thought about that for three minutes straight, with his forehead wrinkled, too occupied in his deliberation to actually notice Victor's expression, who was really trying his best to not laugh in his face.

After a long and exhausting inner research he finally came up with a solution and raised his finger to emphasize what he was going to say.

"Because-" he hiccuped "-if I told you I was cold you would hug and cuddle me to warm me up. If I simply put a sweater on it doesn't happen. Most of the time I'm not even that cold. I just want to snuggle."

Well, the theory was clearly valid and beyond criticism. And yes, Victor was indeed unable to feel heat or cold, but he could have sworn that something _really_ warm just pervaded each human and mechanical part of his body.

"And…are you feeling cold right now?"

Barry scrutinized him like a poker player who was trying to understand the right card to play.  
"Are you going to hug me if I tell you I am?"  
Victor nodded and Barry laconically declared he was freezing and tired, finishing the sentence with a loud yawning. His boyfriend smiled and carefully picked him up to put him to bed, paying attention to not make him bang his head on some wall. He was pretty sure it could have definitely worsened the situation.

They squeezed under the blanket and Victor held him tight, as if he wanted to shelter him not only from cold or some alien threat but also from his own past, from all the bad things he had to experience and the opportunities he didn't have, opportunities that could be almost taken for granted by most people.  
  
"Have you ever thought about…changing something in your life? You can time travel after all."  
He would have never dared to ask that in any other situation, but he was confident that Barry would have forgotten everything the next morning. Hopefully.  
"Uhm...yes, I actually did. But, you know…I didn't know how to deal with my abilities exactly, I still don't fully understand them and it wouldn't have been the same anyway." His tone of voice was getting lower and lower and Vic couldn't tell if it was because of the tiredness or…maybe it was really strenuous for him to talk about that and he felt a bit guilty.  
Nevertheless, Barry kept talking between hiccups and yawns. "My father always told me to stop living in the past and leave it all behind but I never knew ho to do that... until I met you. I've never had something to protect, someone who actually cared for me, everything was just taken away from me before I could even realize it and I was almost obsessed with the idea of bringing that back. But now I have something… _someone_ to fight for and it makes the present time worth living. I don't want to change anything anymore. Maybe all what happened was meant to lead me to you and if I hadn't experienced that…then I would have been another kind of person, maybe a better one, but _not the right one for you_."  
Victor never thought about that in this perspective. He cursed every thing and every person for what happened to him - well, he blamed his father mostly, but without that accident, without the effort his father put in saving his life, then he wouldn't have been there with Barry, feeling loved and safe for the very first time in his entire life.  
  
Barry was the first to fall asleep and Victor kept caressing his cheeks and stroking his hair before following him; he couldn't help but thinking that _maybe_ he could make Barry drink a little something again, _sooner or later_.  


**Author's Note:**

> Soooo...I've never posted anything here before and I guess I'm doing that only because I'm not more sober than Barry actually. The language and the text layout are probably not exactly accurate either, I'll try to improve!
> 
> The Snyder Cut's trailer restored my faith in life and my Flashborg vibes somehow and...and then I thought about my house that's actually falling into pieces, I put it all together and this thing was born. And I needed it out of my head.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who had enough patience to read 'till the end, I hope you're all fine and safe through these tough times! Greetings from Italy!


End file.
